i jhust puked up my retainher.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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