Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
