Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
