I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
