new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
