I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
