the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
