i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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