too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
