I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
