there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
