Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
BRING THE BAGELS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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