Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
is that a dick in a sweater?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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