I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
