Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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