Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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