on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You're like the curious george of whores
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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