I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
