Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
