We won't sleep together?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
