Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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