He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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