I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize