ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
