God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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