It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
NoShamevember. You game?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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