Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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