I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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