Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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