great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
