How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
