Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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