it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
