Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I puked a lego.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
