oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just cut my nipple shaving
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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