I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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