So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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