yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
