So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
