Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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