Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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