We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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