I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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