U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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