the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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