its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
