you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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