i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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