My hand turned me down
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm passing your future prison.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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