omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Vodka?
Forever.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
