I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
